Quality Time

How does the after dinner routine go at your house? At my house, it usually went something like this:

The kids take their plates to the sink for me, then run off to make mayhem. I try desperately to get the food put away and clear the table. Children run wild, play chase in the house, crash into each other, scream and generally make life very noisy. If there is no immediate crisis, I might get the the dishes in the dish washer before it's time to start their bath water, but more often than not I have to abandon the kitchen as soon as the leftovers are in the fridge to coral my three hyenas up to get ready for bed. Once the kids are asleep, I trudge back downstairs and somehow manage to overcome the exhaustion to finish up. It is controlled chaos, but just barely controlled. Mostly it's just chaos.

And it wasn't any fun

Enter Someone Special who, after we finish up dinner, says, "Darling, can you take these things to your mother? Doodlebug, you can dry the place mats. Wait, you can't leave the kitchen until your mother says you are done!"

I jumped right on this bandwagon.

"Pumpkin, can you take these dirty dish towels to the laundry room for Mommy?"

We found all kinds of jobs that a kindergartener, a preschooler, and a toddler could confidently handle. They rinsed, dried, and put away placemats. They cleared the table, helped me sweep the floor, and put clean cutlery away. The kids were engaged. There were no crises. Darling literally danced as she helped, saying, "What else can I help you with, Mama?" We talked, and I explained how we are a family, and so we all have to pitch in together to get things done. There's no, "It's not my responsibility because it's your turn to do that". We can all take pride in how we care for our home. When we went upstairs to start our nighttime routine, the kitchen was spotless. I dare say it was even enjoyable!

I am still in awe of how one person can take one of the most difficult and dreaded hours of the day, and turn it into quality time together. Will every night together go as smoothly as this one? Of course not. That wouldn't be real life. But what I'm learning is that quality time together can happen any time, even during the drudgery of cleaning the kitchen or folding laundry. It does not have to planned, or organized, or "special". It's not an event. It's anytime Dad makes a silly joke and Mom laughs appreciably, or kids say something precious and Mommy's heart melts a little bit. Quality time evolves  naturally during every day, and the most unexpected moments can bring you together.