Quality Time

How does the after dinner routine go at your house? At my house, it usually went something like this:

The kids take their plates to the sink for me, then run off to make mayhem. I try desperately to get the food put away and clear the table. Children run wild, play chase in the house, crash into each other, scream and generally make life very noisy. If there is no immediate crisis, I might get the the dishes in the dish washer before it's time to start their bath water, but more often than not I have to abandon the kitchen as soon as the leftovers are in the fridge to coral my three hyenas up to get ready for bed. Once the kids are asleep, I trudge back downstairs and somehow manage to overcome the exhaustion to finish up. It is controlled chaos, but just barely controlled. Mostly it's just chaos.

And it wasn't any fun

Enter Someone Special who, after we finish up dinner, says, "Darling, can you take these things to your mother? Doodlebug, you can dry the place mats. Wait, you can't leave the kitchen until your mother says you are done!"

I jumped right on this bandwagon.

"Pumpkin, can you take these dirty dish towels to the laundry room for Mommy?"

We found all kinds of jobs that a kindergartener, a preschooler, and a toddler could confidently handle. They rinsed, dried, and put away placemats. They cleared the table, helped me sweep the floor, and put clean cutlery away. The kids were engaged. There were no crises. Darling literally danced as she helped, saying, "What else can I help you with, Mama?" We talked, and I explained how we are a family, and so we all have to pitch in together to get things done. There's no, "It's not my responsibility because it's your turn to do that". We can all take pride in how we care for our home. When we went upstairs to start our nighttime routine, the kitchen was spotless. I dare say it was even enjoyable!

I am still in awe of how one person can take one of the most difficult and dreaded hours of the day, and turn it into quality time together. Will every night together go as smoothly as this one? Of course not. That wouldn't be real life. But what I'm learning is that quality time together can happen any time, even during the drudgery of cleaning the kitchen or folding laundry. It does not have to planned, or organized, or "special". It's not an event. It's anytime Dad makes a silly joke and Mom laughs appreciably, or kids say something precious and Mommy's heart melts a little bit. Quality time evolves  naturally during every day, and the most unexpected moments can bring you together.

Read-Alouds

A momentous day for our family arrived a few months ago: the day I decided to start reading aloud chapter books with the kids, and not just picture books. I had been dreaming about that day for a long time. If you have books that are special favorites from your childhood, maybe you know what I mean. I couldn't wait for the day their attention spans and memories were developed enough to handle a story spread out of many days. Reading some of my favorite children's classics with them has been such a treat, and I'm trying to savor every moment.

When I say I'm reading aloud to "the kids", I mostly mean to Darling (who is now 5). Doodlebug (3) is always included, but she gets up to play, then comes back to listen to what she finds interesting, then moves back to her baby dolls and so on. As long as she's in the room, I think that's fine. Sometimes Pumpkin (not yet 2) is present for the chapter read-alouds, and sometimes he has already gone to bed. He gets his own special reading time with Mommy, separate from his sisters' reading time, as part of his nighttime routine. I'll combine the reading time when he is older.

Reading time has always been a fixture in our bedtime routine, often getting stretched out from our usual thirty minutes to nearly two hours. We always read before bed, but I am thinking about adding a second reading time, maybe after lunch. What does your read-aloud time look like? I would love suggestions. I have tried to surround my kids with books from the very beginning, and even though none of them can read yet, they have already started a love affair with books. Pumpkin even takes board books to bed with him. I'll peek in on him in the mornings sometimes and he will be sitting in bed flipping through the pages, looking at pictures, pointing and chattering. One day I hope to get a video of it, it is so precious to watch. I hope this is the start of a life-long love of learning.

Back to our chapter books.

Our very first chapter read-aloud was Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart Lovelace. The Betsy-Tacy series is one of my absolute favorites. I have completely worn out my copy of at least six of the books. As I got older I mostly re-read her high school years, and then I fixated on Betsy and Great World, and especially on Betsy's Wedding for a long time. I probably read it close to a 30 or 40 times over the years. I loved it so much, and it was always next to my bed when I was a teenager. I had forgotten, though, how wonderful the very first books are. It was a joy to read, and both of my girls enjoyed it immensely.  We finished it in just a couple of days, as I was unable to resist whenever Darling would say, "Let's just keep reading." We started Betsy-Tacy and Tib and were over halfway through it when they went with their dad for a week. It was hard to pick back up where we left off, so I decided to just start a new book, The BFG by Roald Dahl.

I've been surprised to learn that whenever I mentioned we were reading The BFG, no one had heard of it. Really? I guess it's not his most popular work (I suppose the a story of how giants steal children and eat them doesn't have as much mass-appeal as a flying, giant peach or an eccentric chocolatier), but I remember my mother reading it to my brothers and me when we were little. I especially remember the part of the carbonation going down instead of up. Isn't is funny what sticks with you? Anyway, my girls and I all enjoyed it. We moved on to James and the Giant Peach, also by Roald Dahl, which we just finished last night. It was an enormous hit with everyone. Doodlebug said she wanted to ride on a giant peach. Darling said she was sure there was a giant peach roller coaster somewhere we could ride on. I remember these stories being fresh and captivating when I was a child; and they are even more so  now. Roald Dahl wrote classics, that's for sure. I can't wait to read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. However, I really want to move on the Chronicles of Narnia next. We will start with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and read the series in the order the books were written. I know that most of the collections now put the books in chronological order, but I don't like it that way. I think it's so much nicer, more Narnian, when the timeline jumps around.

*8/14/11 Update: we actually started Mr. Popper's Penguins by Richard and Florence Atwater, which Darling loved so much that we finished in three sittings---and most of that was in one sitting.

While I might have waited to delve into Narnia with the kids, I am a little bit paranoid that they will see the movies before they read the books. While, for the most part, I'm a fan of the movies of classic books, I think that every child deserves the opportunity to form their own opinions about the story first, in their head. Once they see the movie, they will forever envision those characters as the actors who played them, and they will never get another chance to form their own visions and make the story their own. This is one of the ways that movies can never be as powerful as great literature.

And lastly, I highly recommend The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease if you need extra recommendations for great books. I have my mother's copy from the '70's. While it is a fantastic list of books that make wonderful read-alouds, and a useful tool in building a solid home library, it is also a very informative about the importance and power of reading aloud to children even after they can read themselves.

Knitting Love

Well, I did not meet my deadline for Pumpkin's blanket, although I came pretty close. After chatting with a more experienced knitter, I have come to think that I was a bit too ambitious about my time-line for my skill level...but I'm still disappointed. I am roughly 2/3 finished with the cable-knit border. Then there are just a few details to add and I'm done. I'm sewing the border on as I go, so when I weave in the last strand, that will be it. Hurray! It is even cuter than I hoped it would be.

I did take a two-hour break from the blanket to knit up these fingerless mitts for Pumpkin last week. This was out of necessity, as we have had a cold-snap, but not playing outside simply isn't an option for us. One of Pumpkin's favorite things to do is sit in the grass and play with pine straw. He has mittens, but he was frustrated that he couldn't pick anything up, so I decided he needed fingerless mitts. They keep his little hands so warm! I was really, really surprised, to tell the truth. I thought the tips of his fingers would still get ice cold, but they were nice and toasty every time I checked. I think I am going to knit up several pairs of these in coordinating colors so that I can mix and match them together. That way, it won't be a big deal when we lose one (because I know we will).

I already have the yarn for my next few projects. I'm planning on making these adorable fingerless mitts for myself, and then making convertible mittens for the girls in the same stripe pattern.  Then, it's on to Christmas toys! I have so many ideas, I don't even know where to begin, BUT I do know that a little knitted 'Ponyo' is going in Doodlebug's Christmas stocking! That is her current favorite movie (we are big Miyazaki fans), and she carries around this plastic bucket and talks to her pretend Ponyo. It is so darn cute! I was planning on making them some playfood and a teaset from Itty-Bitty Nursery, but if I am being honest, I think that I really want the teaset. I think they would like it, but there are other things they would enjoy more. Like a pink and purple dinosaur, and a pink and purple-striped shark (yes, those are two very real requests by Darling). It's going to be a busy couple of weeks!

Free Kid's Music

Have to share another link: Free Kids Music has high quality children's music to download for free for your personal use. The artists have released these songs as a promotion, hoping you'll go back and purchase the rest of their albums. However, all the songs shared are free and yours to keep-- and no subscription required. There are a lot of contemporary artists, but check out the "Traditional" section. There are a lot of songs you remember from your childhood, and they are very well done!

Free Coloring Pages

Mommies of young children (or "kid-at-heart" adults), check out Coloring-Book.info for free pages to print and color. It has pictures from tons of animated kid movies and tv shows, including more obscure shows. All the classic Disney and Pixar films are represented, plus Curious George, Peter Rabbit, Winnie the Pooh and tons of shows I didn't even recognize (I don't let my kids watch live TV-- just pre-approved DVDs because I hate commercials marketed to kids).  It's well worth checking out!

And for the preschooler who needs a challenge, check out Color Me Masterpiece. Print out coloring sheets of famous masterpieces for you child to color, and teach them about art at the same time!

"And in Circle Time today, kids, we're going to learn about Raphael's Madonna and Child."