Snacktime

Did you know the Barenaked Ladies made a children's album, called Snacktime? I found it at my local library. I love it as much as the kids do. The lyrics are hysterical. Check out their song, 7 8 9.

Happy Friday!

Make Now, Bake Later

Someone Special, who prefers to be called "Sexy, Hot Hunk of Manhood" from now on, has a friend who writes on his blog that you should always keep slice and bake cookies in the fridge. You know, for serious cookie emergencies.

I agree completely.

The problem, though, is that I don't trust packaged cookie dough because they are, by necessity for shelf life, packed with preservatives. One of my little goals is to find whole food ways to enjoy typical convenience foods, but cookies are a bit tricky. How can you enjoy homemade cookies without having to lug out the mixer or bribe a grandma every time you want some? The proverbial light bulb went off above my head when I recalled a memory from my childhood:

When we were little, my dad coached my brothers' little league baseball team, and my mom was expected to have homemade chocolate chip cookies ready for after practice.  She would mix up tons of chocolate chip cookie dough ahead of time, freeze spoonfuls of dough on cookie sheets, then transfer said dough to a baggie and store in the freezer. She could pull a few out whenever the boys on the team were over.

Genius.

As our emergency cookie stash was running low, the girls and I whipped out our aprons and got right to work.

Everyone knows homemade cookies taste better when children stick their fingers in the dough.

Make the spoonfuls roughly the same size so that your cookies will bake evenly

I just place the cookie sheets in the freezer for an hour or so. 

Ready for the freezer, to be baked another day

So, with just a little bit of extra up-front effort, it is possible to have the convenience of slice and bake cookies with none of the additives. And to kill two birds with one stone, you can make the actual dough-mixing your math lesson for the day. Older kids can be challenged with a lesson on, say, fractions, while toddlers can develop motor skills by mixing, pouring, and stirring. Preschoolers can count out chocolate chips, kindergarteners can arrange the dough in groups of fives or twos to build the foundations of multiplication later on. And they're all learning to be helpful. It's a win-win-win-win-win situation.

That's the best kind.

Pine Cone Bird Feeder Craft

Do you remember making bird feeders with pine cone and peanut butter when you were a child? I remember making them in kindergarten. I thought of this as an easy craft when we were desperate for something to do one afternoon while Pumpkin napped. The girls were wild and I had to get them out of the house so they wouldn't wake up their brother. It soon became one of the best afternoons we've spent together in a while. Being outdoors and exploring has a way of doing that to you: taking ordinary moments and making them extraordinary. The bird feeders were a big hit with Darling and Doodlebug, and ended up being free for us to make because I already had all the items on hand. Pine trees are so prolific here that they might as well be our state weed. Seriously, they are everywhere.

We started by exploring the vacant lot next door for pine cones. This ended up being 45 minutes of running, jumping, and general merry making. It was wonderful!

 

 

 

They gathered up tons of pine cones, and we made kind of a counting game out of it. See? You can squeeze some school in just about anywhere. We made quite a pile:

Then we had to separate the worthy pine cones from the unworthy:

Now for the messy part: the peanut butter! I found an unopened jar of Jiff peanut butter in the pantry that my mom bought an untold number of months (or possibly, years) ago. It has never been opened because I am a peanut butter snob and am particularly picky about peanut butters (and I'm comfortable okay with that label), so what better way to use it up than for crafting? I opened the jar, gave each girl a spoon, and let them go to town. It was a job which they took very seriously:

Next, we rolled the coated cones in bird seed.

It was pretty messy, but that's part of the fun!

Did I mention that it was messy?

And last of all, I used some crafting twine and my trusty hot glue gun to make hangers and, voila!

We hung them in a tree for the birds:

Happy Thursday!

Blanket Update: It's Finished!

Do you remember me telling you about Pumpkin's blanket waaaaaayyyyy back when? After his birthday passed and it wasn't finished, I set it aside to start some other small projects that needed to get done, and well, kind of forgot. I saw it folded up last week and thought that there really was not much left to do, probably two more hours and it would be finished. Seven hours later, I wove in the last end. I way underestimated how long it would take me to make that cableknit border! I'm pleased with the way that it turned out. I hope that it will be a special blanket for him. It really is cute, but even more than that, it's the reason I learned to knit. It's been a very emotional project for me, and while I know that Pumpkin will not understand until he's much older, one day, if I can remember, I hope to tell him this:

Dear One,

Here is a blanket that I made with just you in mind. I hope it will keep you warm when you are cold, comfort you when you are sad, and protect you when you are scared. I left the mistakes to remind you that life, like this blanket, is imperfect. Sometimes we mess up, but if you can just keep going, you will make something really wonderful in the end.

I love you,
Mommy 

Library List: 1/16-1/22

Since we've settled into our new house, we've also settled into our new library. Our weekly visits have returned. Our library has an excellent story time and a pretty darn good children's department. Much better than I would have expected. Here is our book list for this week:

The Cow Loves Cookies by Karma Wilson
The Cow That Went Oink by Bernard Most
Click, Clack, Moo: Cows that Type by Doreen Cronin
Curious George Learns the Alphabet by H. A. Rey
When Pigasso Met Mootisse by Nina Laden
The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats

Our weekly theme is "cows" this week. The Curious George title was an impulse. I have been incorporating more alphabet books into our reading because Darling is obsessed with letters all of a sudden. You should see her pouring over Chicka, Chicka, Boom, Boom! We love Curious George and when I saw it sitting on the shelf, I snatched it up for them. The Snowy Day was also an impulse, since it snowed. The girls had a wonderful time listening to the snow crunch! crunch! crunch! under their feet, just like Peter.

Snow!

Ahhh, a new year! What is it about the start of a new year that makes me want to make resolutions? There's something about starting over which is very appealing. We've had something very big happen here, just nine days into the new year: SNOW!

Real, actual, soft, white, beautiful snow. This is something that rarely happens in our region. We do get some cold temperatures, but usually any winter precipitation comes our way in the form of ice, not snow. If we do get any snow flurries, almost always it's less than an inch and is completely melted within a day or so. This time, we got close to 6 inches! Woot! You can't imagine how excited my children are...or maybe you can! As soon as the first flurries started to fly, Darling had to rush outside to catch some one her tongue:

I definitely see snowmen in my future. I will have to take some  pictures to post. I love winter. We have a fire burning brightly in the grate almost every day.

The kids have brightly colored hats, scarves, and coats, so cute! Doodlebug and Pumpkin were certainly mesmerized by the snowfall:

It's going to be tough to get through our morning chores today, with snow calling our names! I'm sure all the neighborhood kids will be out. The funny thing about snow in a region that is not used to it, is that the whole area shuts down. There's a run on bread and milk at the grocery store, stores and schools close, and people tend to freak out even over an inch of snow. Did anyone else get any lovely white stuff?

Perfection Infection and the Mess I Made of Things

This morning, I read this excellent post about the "perfection infection" that plagues our society. "Perfection" is a world view that does not, has not, and will not make anyone happy. No exceptions. Where my view differs from the rest of the world, is that our willingness to buy into this view stems from our own arrogance, and not from anyone else. Even a low self-esteem is fueled by a preoccupation with ones' self, and stems from arrogance.

I know how the world looks at me: like I washed up after I had so much promise. Everything comes easy to me, yet I've failed at everything I've ever tried. I'm twenty-six, divorced with three kids four and under. I never finished college. I live with my parents. I was going back to school, but I stopped that, too.  How pathetic. But you know what? It doesn't matter. If it were someone else, I'd be saying the same thing. But for the first time in my life, I've got it together and got my priorities in line.

The truth is, I married a man I never really loved because I thought he was safe. I was devastated by things that went on in my parents' marriage, and I thought, "He'll never do that to me. We'll have a good life together." I was dazzled by his potential. I was blinded by the desire to be married and plan a wedding and play homemaker. I made him up to be something he was not, and refused to acknowledge the doubts I had because he was going to "get me out of Arkansas." He had these big dreams, and I thought, "that's the kind of life I want." That's all I focused on instead of, you know, the way he treated me. I saw how smart and talented he was, but I ignored how he wasted it. I glossed over the fact that we didn't match up in our spiritual views. I discounted the fact that we grew up with two different views of marriage. I built him up into Prince Charming, and then was stupid enough to be shocked when the armor came off. Yes, I was that stupid girl. And then I wasn't strong enough to make it work. I wasn't strong enough to stick it out and just live with my mistakes. I loved his family, really more than I loved him, and I wanted to be a part of it because I so desperately craved that stability after it was broken in my own family. I have a deep confession to make: I knew by month two of our marriage that I had made a horrible mistake. But I was also so ashamed to be that girl who ran away after six weeks of marriage that I just kept pretending to love him. And then I was pregnant and I felt I had to stick it out for the baby. I thought, "I'm stuck now, so I might as well make the best of it and put my whole self into this marriage." So that's what I did. I failed him by not being honest with him from the start. I thought only about what a fool I would look if I broke up with him. I never thought about him, and how he thought he was marrying someone who was crazy about him. I never thought about how I was derailing his life, too. He deserved better than that. And then I was ready to step up and make it work, but he wasn't. And that's when he failed me. I was standing there, going, "Let's do this. We've got kids, we can make it work. We can still have a good life together." But he was off playing video games instead. And it got to the point where I just couldn't keep pretending anymore. I was crazy about my kids and being a mom. I thought, "This is what I'm on this earth to do. Everything else was just killing time until I got here." I begged him to jump in and experience it, too. I begged him to go the park with us. I got answers like, "I've already played with her today." "I just don't feel like going anywhere today" "Alright, but I don't want to be there more than 20 minutes." "Maybe next weekend." And what was he doing instead of being with his family? Playing video games. Watching movies. Surfing the internet. Oh, he was working, too, but he was off every weekend, and he didn't spend it with us, although we were home together. The point of this? We were both idiots. We both wrecked our marriage. My family needs to realize that I made horrible mistakes and it wasn't all his fault, and his family needs to know that he failed miserably as a husband. If I wanted to be treated better, then I should have married someone else. If he didn't want to treat me better, then he should have married someone who didn't expect to be treated better. We were both stupid. And now our kids have got to pay for it. That's the real tragedy. And that's why I'm living with my parents and pushing off school until they're older. Because they deserve to have a magical childhood, no matter how stupid their parents are. They deserve to have a mother who's there to see every magical moment, who bakes cookies with them and takes them to the zoo. They deserve a mother who can read them the same story ten times in a row because it's their favorite, who lets them finger paint, make a mess (as long as they clean it up!), and thinks that a tea party with Mr. Jumbo is the social event of the season. They deserve a mother who'll dress up in gossamer wings and a tutu and dance around the backyard singing while looking for fairies, even though the neighbors just shake their heads turn the other way. A mother who is an expert in the art of giant bubbles. Who'll dance around the living room with abandon even though she's a terrible dancer. They deserve a mother who can get along with their father, and move on no matter what happens. A mother who will shut her mouth no matter how much she wants to bust his balls (because she's not perfect, either). Who will welcome every visit from their dad, because they are his children, too, and she can't ever change that. They deserve a mother who will take on every tantrum and never let it slide because she's too tired or has to be at work. They deserve to have a mother who can out sit them at the dinner table until they eat their vegetables. Because it's for their own good.

I could never give them that if I were on my own. They would be in day care, one of fifty kids supervised by two workers who would rather be somewhere else. Bullied and ignored, or worse, they would be the bully because their mom is always too tired and overworked for them, and they are desperate for attention. And for what? For some superficial show of independence that is worthless in the grand scheme of things.

My parents understand that. They know that what my kids need more than anything else after what they have been through is their mother. And that's why they are taking care of us: not so I don't have to pay for my mistakes, but so my kids don't have to pay for my mistakes. We're blessed that they are in a position that they can do that. They are the real heroes here. They are better than I deserve.

I blew it. I know it. I pretty much have no chance at a loving marriage now- I have no illusions about that. I'm looking at being single for the rest of my life, and that's okay. I can still be happy. Because I made the mistakes, but God provided the answers. I am the luckiest woman in the world because I can advance the Plan of God without fear of persecution for what I believe. I have a comfortable life in a free country. I won't lie, there are times when I think it would be a relief to go back to school. To only be responsible for myself! There are days when I am so close to losing it I have to go scream into a pillow. Or worse, I do lose it a scream at my children. I'm always so ashamed of myself when that happens. It happens less and less because I'm stretching and growing, but I'm far from perfect. If I went back to school, got a degree, got a job, got my own place, maybe got married again, the world would look at me and say, "Finally, she's got it together!" But I would be remiss, because my orders are, "raise three children to the best of your ability."  Not "go out and do something for you and raise your kids in your spare time." It isn't about me anymore. It hasn't been since the strip first turned pink. And it doesn't matter if the world thinks I'm the biggest loser in the world. God gave me three children to raise, and I'm going to do it to the best of my ability. I'm going to give them everything I have, till there's nothing left of me but some water and a few minerals. And when that job is done and I get new orders, I'll give everything to those, too, until God takes me home. No one has to know what I'm doing: God knows. And that's enough.

Life: 10-1 (and 2)-10

Wow, can if possibly be July since I've posted anything? I thought that was like last week! Okay, so that's an exaggeration, but it has been crazy around here!

First of all: WE MOVED! This is my 7th move in 5 years---certainly not as many times as an army wife, but a fair amount just the same. Hopefully, this will be my last move for a long time, as I hate to move! I am craving some stability after all the drama of the last few years. However, we are in a really great place, and we're all excited to be here, so that makes it a better move than some of the others.

Then, Pumpkin is crawling everywhere! He cannot be left alone for a second, especially now as there are boxes everywhere. Also, at ten months old, he has finally decided that he likes solid food. First, he hated it and cried and cried whenever we went near the high chair. Then when he was old enough for finger foods, he thought meal time was fun, but he didn't care about eating the food as much as he liked squishing it between his fingers and throwing it on the floor. But now, he has decided that he really does like food, and could he have more, please? He is still nursing, and I am convinced that he will be a long-term nurser. My mom disagrees. She says he's not going to want to sit still to nurse as he gets older, but he is Mama's boy and I think that as independent as he is becoming, he is not ready to give up his special time with me.


Darling and Doodlebug continue to blossom every day. It is truly a joy to watch. I'm always amazed at how imaginative they are. We really had the best week this week!

*yawn* too tired to write more, but I have ideas for lots of posts, so hopefully there will be more updates soon.

Of Webs and Things

Darling came to me the other day and informed me she was going to make "an elephant web" in order to "catch elephant food." She found some of my pink embroidery floss and asked me for some tape. I told her no tape on the walls, so she made the web inside her play tent. I don't know why I find this so darn creative, but I do!